Saturday, March 10, 2007, 10:20 PM
it's about time.
woke up like 11. finally i slept until so nice. =) then used sis comp. my cousin came. ^^ then had lunch. watch my dvd. suddenly, i scream. my snowy's tail coming off. ='( my mum asked me to throw. but i didn't want to. HELLO. snowy was the only thing that kept me company through lonely nights. kept me company when i was feeling down. i want a new toy!! =(
watch till like 6.45, then left house. went tm with mum. was freaking squeezy la. had dinner at central. then went shopping. then came home.
hmms. was talking to a senior last night. he told me that no matter what, i was a small girl in his eyes. oh well. suddenly, i wish everyone who know me, will see me as a grown up girl. and not a small little kid who only know how to throw her tantrum. but i guess, it's not that they want to see me as a small kid. but it's just the way i present myself. =)
then, i was talking to mum during dinner. i told her that my purpose of getting into triple science was partly because i wanted to show everyone that i could do what my sis can. and i wanted my parents to be proud of me. my mum then told me that i did't had to do that. cause everyone has their own strong points. and mine, is definitely not studying. i have to agree with her. she told me that she has always been worried about me. she was afraid i couldn't move on to the next part. and i felt a sense of satisfaction when i finally put her mind at ease when i manage to do well for Os and move on.
at that instance, i wish that i could really do well in poly to show my parents that i didn't make the wrong decision in choosing that course. and that i'll do my very best in whatever i choose to be. =)
the most beautiful lady is not the girl with looks. but the girl with confidence in herself.
so, i've decided to be a beauty of my own life. a girl, not with looks, but a girl with confidence. i know i can. =)
it's just time to isolate myself. to isolate myself from this world of lies. to prevent myself from getting hurt again and again. and yes. i find it hard to love you now. probably because i don't know what's in your mind. and probably i don't even exist in your world now. it just so difficult to pretend that i'm absolutely fine in front of you. but deep down, it hurts so much. that i feel like crying out. but, i guess it doesn't matter anymore. sorry. this heart has long stop beating. that very day when you no longer care.
work starts next week. and only for a week. 13-19. i'll find another job after that. gotta expose myself. and gain more experience. and no more rotting at home. i hate staying at home! >< damn. feel like bowling.
done blogging.
-i got to change myself totally.-
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